A colleague sent me what is probably one of the craziest non-classifieds, display ads I've ever seen in the New York Times, or any other serious newspaper not considered an alt-weekly.

The ad is in section A of the paper and sizable, weighing in at 14 column inches. It's a blur of text except for the bold headline with preceding and trailing asterisks:
Revolution Over "Obama's Change" (original quotation marks, not mine).

Revolution is becoming a popular word these days between Iran, Honduras and high-fructose corn syrup, there hasn't been this much talk about change since Obama's Presidential campaign and now here's an ad that mentions both Revolution and Obama.

I took a quick look not expecting anything more than maybe a complaint about bailouts or the economy and the first words in the body of the ad are (all text and formatting as is):

<1> New Constitution. Eliminate Congress [based on Kingdom age's old political theory - Now everything is CELL phone Internet time/does not and cannot represent peopl/elected by low voting rates/minds changed by lobbyists/being a useless obstacle against 9-11, Iraq war, 2008 economy crisis & others/535 legislators + thousands helpers who use huge money for common sense job vs. Newton, Edison, Gen. McAthur, Bill Gates & Pilots who did great works themselves]

It appears to be a plan of sorts, maybe in/poetic form/ that involves shredding our current Constitution and relying on cell phones to run the current so damn, now I have to read the entire ad - see the full below to read the path to Utopia.

This first point of the plan has six planks that from a new government consisting of of only the President and 50 governors, advocating "1 law" that abolishes state laws, creates a "chief Gov. Watcher" appointed by the Supreme Court and/or President, forces the government to support five political parties, uses Popeater-style polling to gather public opinion and finally, installs a scheme to easily recall public officials.

The second point in the plan is where it actually gets good and I have to say, not a bad idea:

<2> Combine cities to 1 for efficiency 1 million pop. or 10,000 sq miles area

I've long questioned why we need two Dakotas or why New York City is part of New York State which is only heightened by the confederacy of dunces in the New York Senate. Seems like some states could group together for more efficient governments and pool some tax money during this recession.

Highlights from the other six points in the plan:

<3> sets public servants' salaries at 10x minimum wage for the President to 6.5x the minimum wage for school district superintendent

<4> Eliminates unions and set wages at "+34% of increased Rate of the total co.'s sales last 1-3 years"

<5> "Gov. publishes 300 pages of a basic criminal law book, anyone demonstrating knowledge of 95% of the book only by test, give them Criminal Lawyer License. Produce 10,000's New Lawyers Every Day!"

<6> "No police shooting or hitting"

<7> "College separates lecture and study professors"

<8> Provides a formula for ratio of college admissions - "Rank 2 of 500 students=1.96 of 490=1 of 250" - and also goes on about SAT and ACT scores for about a fifth of the ad

Going through the incredibly confusing list of New York Times ad rates, the cheapest I could price this ad is around $10,000 which seems like an expensive way to get your message across, especially with free tools like Myspace, Facebook and Twitter. The ad appears to be placed by Steve Kim who gives his address in Illinois along with his e-mail address and describes himself as author of "Tangent/Log Gov. for Utopia," an inventor of 12 devices and a "Thinker that Chicken precedes Egg, since eggs need chicken for hatching and any object can be converted to the other one."

A quick Internet search shows there is an patent application pending for a Steve Kim with the same name as the e-mail address for a shirt holder that according to the patent application is "which is all of the ways and things to prevent shirt coming out from pants or belt to avoid odd looking and uncomfortable."

One of my favorite comedians of all time, Mitch Hedberg once said, "My belt holds up my pants and my pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. What the f***'s really goin' on down there? Who is the real hero?""

While the quote could be related to the pending patent, the bigger question about the add is indeed, WTF is really going on?