Oklahoma wants filmmakers. Governor Brad Henry recently signed a law that increases the Oklahoma Film Enhancement Rebate up to 37%. Henry noted that many states have seen increased revenue from the film and TV industry after passing similar legislation.
He added, "Oklahoma's beautiful and varied terrain makes the state a perfect locale for film and television productions." That's a bold statement but he could have something there. Several movies might have been better had they been filmed in Oklahoma. Check out just ten examples:
Can't Buy Me Love
One of the greatest selling points of Oklahoma isn't the vast open land -- it's the ladies. There are more beautiful women in Oklahoma than there are beautiful men. If you're a dumpy dude who's without much luck with the ladies then this is the place for you.
That said, Can't Buy Me Love would have been much more believable if it had been shot here. Patrick Dempsey has no problems with women in real life, being one of People Magazine's sexiest men alive. The guy who played Ricky in Better Off Dead would have made more sense.
The Empire Strikes Back
Instead of Dagobah, Yoda should have taken Luke to Arbuckle Lake and trained him in the art of noodling - sticking one's arm in a catfish hole, waiting for the catfish to clamp onto the arm and carrying the fish back to dry land.
Then they both do keg stands, unassisted, and a drunk Yoda begins a telekinetic rampage that involves cow tipping an entire herd and drunk dialing Queen Amidala's ghost.
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Merle Haggard plays the title role with tiny cowboys taking care of the factory which is more like a ranch. Cow poop to chocolate references are endless. Veruca Salt is a "goddamn hippie" who goes dumpster diving for a golden egg. She turns the egg into a bong and gets the idea for a band called it Veruca Salt.
She then pens a hit called "Seether" and Charlie gets the ranch after an investigation finds manure run-off in the chocolate river. Mr. Wonka makes a peanut butter and chocolate joke but no one laughs. The End.
Dick Tracy
In honor of Dick Tracy's creator, Pawnee-born Chester Gould, his hometown celebrates Dick Tracy Day wtih Dick Tracy cake, yellow punch, yellow rain coats and a giant Dick Tracy mural in the center of town. And to keep it in the 1930's, the 3rd oldest lightbulb is still lit in Livermore, Oklahoma.
This would probably be a better setting for Dick Tracy 2 - The Secret of the Pawnee Boogaloo.
American Psycho II: All American Girl
The first one probably wouldn't have worked in Oklahoma City but the sequel could definitely have been shot at Oral Roberts University in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
The university's Praying Hands and Prayer Tower are definitely great backdrops for any movie. Plus, Mila Kunis wouldn't stick out as the prettiest girl in school since she fits in with every other pretty girl in town.
Billy Madison
This was shot outside Toronto and features a scene where Billy and his friends light a bag of dog poop on the porch of an old couple. They knock on the door and run behind some bushes as the old man comes out and stomps out the fire, getting poop on his boots.
The punchline is when Billy says, "He called the s**t, poop!" This scene would have been better in Oklahoma since there is so much real bulls**t on the many ranches of Oklahoma. Even though they probably didn't use real s**t, let it be known that bulls**t is more flammable than dogs**t making the flaming s**t bag scene bigger.
Free Willy and Pinocchio
In Catoosa, Oklahoma, there's a giant whale made of concrete that rests in the middle of a pond. You can walk inside the whale through the giant mouth. It would have been perfect as Monstro in Pinocchio, saving set costs a bundle.
It is immobile so you couldn't really do the money shot of Willy jumping over rocks (in Free Willy) but you would have saved some headache with animal rights groups. Keiko, the whale who played Willy, benefited from the movie's publicity yet later died tragically after an attempt to reintroduce him into the wild. The Catoosa whale fell into disrepair but fans of the attraction repaint it every year.
Lord of the Rings
New Zealand is really far away. Bilbo's house could have been shot at the Cave House in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Although, Bilbo's birthday party would look less like the Shire and more like spring breakers without cars. However, Oklahoma's beer is watered down by law, so hobbits can definitely drink more beer in confidence.
Freddy vs. Jason
In this marriage of two franchises, Freddy has gone to hell and can't get out. He was shot in Toronto but a much better metaphoric backdrop would have been Oklahoma City. Anyone who has moved there from greener pastures would have connected to the film's trapped theme immediately. Shawnee, Oklahoma would be the best place but it's not as well-known a town. And it's easier to get out of.
