It's Back Hair Appreciation Day and unfortunately, I haven't received any press releases for big events, invites to parties or calls to cover Back Hair Appreciation Day red carpet galas.
Sure, it's a quirky, seemingly made-up holiday, but American Greetings makes an e-card for it so it has to be a valid holiday, right? Or maybe like Christmas and Valentine's Day, Back Hair Appreciation Day is just another plot by the greeting card consortium to promote their consumerist agenda. Although, the American Greetings e-card is free so that may blow that theory.
I suppose hosting a shaving party on a day when back hair enthusiasts and tricophilliacs (hair fetishists) celebrate follicular overgrowth could be considered bad taste, but companies profiting from hair removal have to posess an inherent corporate culture of chaetophobia (fear of hair) and hosting the event, taste be damned, would benefit their Q3 revenue targets and overall mission to eradicate unwanted hair from unwanted places at all costs.
The non-celebration of Back Hair Appreciation Day just highlights the hatred society has for back hair and the economic stakes are high. If everyone stopped shaving, depilitating or lasering and just let the back hair grow, razor, cream and laster sales would go down. Although to be fair, most of the revenue could be made up with a new health and beauty retail category, back hair grooming. Back combs would be huge.
If Grandparents Day, Sweetheart Day and Hug a Vegetarian Day keep gaining acceptance as mainstream holidays, then there is hope that Back Hair Appreciation Day will one day make it. It will never be a federal holiday of course, but a small parade might be nice.
There's always next year.
