Beer makes people look better.

I could have told you that when I worked as a waitress serving beers to patrons and watched the hottie out-of-towners leave with the not-so-hottie townies. Or just a year ago when I took two hours convincing my friend that the greasy guy we met in Montauk who smelled like fish, wore a funnel to keep him from scratching his stitches and seemed to have suffered a tragic back-slapping injury leaving him permanently cross-eyed was, in fact, not Brad Pitt as she'd previously suspected.

But, in the end, my evidence does not a scientific fact make. A few brave yet geeky scientists at the University of Bristol in the UK decided to make it a solid fact by putting the "myth" to the test. Their findings proved the fact: beer goggles are a geek's glass slippers.

In my own attempt to de-myth beer goggles, I decided to do a little observation of my own. I arrived in disguise (not really) at Barfly (a fitting location) in New York City at 10 p.m. with pen and paper. My notes follow:

10:00 p.m.
I've just arrived and found the last spot at the bar. The bartender was a bit pushy so I ordered a Brooklyn Lager as that was the first beer that caught my eye. On first scan of the bar, I see pool players gathering near the pool table. A few are already a little tipsy. But possibly not quite as bad as the group playing darts at the other end of the bar who seem to have a problem hitting anything even close to the dartboard.
The least attractive person in the bar is quite possibly the bean pole wearing a baseball cap in the corner who has already consumed some liquid courage. I know this because he's winking at me. Will have to be more cautious to prevent the "Hey, I saw you looking at me" confrontation.

10:30 p.m.
I've caught baseball cap looking over here several times. He tried to buy me a drink but I turned it down the first three times. It's nice that he wants to buy me a drink but that's just a little too desperate.
Luckily, four "Sex & The City"-types just strutted through the door. Not sure what brought them here but atleast their distracting baseball cap.

11:00 p.m.
The Brooklyn Lager is really good here. Note to self: I LOVE Brooklyn Lager.
Baseball cap has obviously given up on me. He's flirting with the blonde in a halter top. I'm relieved to know that I'm no longer the objective but, seriously, who wears halter tops anymore.
He just bought her some pink-tinged drink in a fancy glass. I totally don't like her. Not sure what baseball cap sees in her.

11:30 p.m.
What is blondie's problem? Doesn't she know that baseball cap was totally into me before she showed up. She's so ... Blah! What does he see in her? I HATE her.
More beer.

12:00 a.m.
[illegible]

12:30 a.m.
basebllcap just left. What a doofus. He could do so much better. Paying bill. going home. Obv. beer goggles got the better of baseball cap. Why else woudl he be so interested in blondie. Boooo.